Embracing Shadows — Feminine Power, Midlife Fire and the Wisdom of the Body: Tia Healey-Jellick, with Julia Neumann

00:00:14:

00:00:20: This is Radically Alive Women's Edgecast.

00:00:40: You know, if you see the heart machines.

00:00:41: The flat line is dead.

00:00:42: like women are this where there's pulsation in rhythm and even flow?

00:00:49: Join us for this conversation with Tia Helijalek.

00:00:54: It a really honest radically alive conversation about topics such as perimenopause or changing years but also touches upon real tough topic of underworld that we believe are really important to talk about and bring to our awareness, especially at this time.

00:01:17: And since Radically Live Women is more than just an age cast – We're a context for women to move together and evolve together.

00:01:25: You can join us in person!

00:01:27: This November in New Zealand out of Tearoa... ...we are gathering from the twenty-sixth to twenty ninth for an immersion, a three-day container in which we will explore firstly you.

00:01:39: Which is that version of You That Is Beyond Your Conditioned Patterns and Lies Beyond Shame?

00:01:46: Join us if can find more details on radicallyalivewomen.com.

00:01:54: I'm sitting here with Tia Healy Jellik And Tia is an embodied movement facilitator.

00:02:01: She melts different conscious dance modalities with her own instinctual rhythm.

00:02:06: And she's a trained somatic dancer, facilitator and lover of five rhythms.

00:02:11: She is also a wrongo practitioner which the traditional Māori healing or native herbs art... ...and an intuitive healer!

00:02:22: Also she's mother-of-four and grandmother-of two currently navigating the big change that women go through that some people call peremenopause.

00:02:31: So welcome here, Tia!

00:02:33: Thank you thank you.

00:02:35: I have a traditional question That i love asking because it helps me and the People that listen now to get To know You bit better than through my words And that is who are you right Now in this moment as you sit Here?

00:02:49: Who am I Right now?

00:02:51: oh Okay...I Am Shedding Layers burning off layers of Who I have been.

00:03:03: so i'm in the kind of in the fires right now and?

00:03:09: Don't even really know who.

00:03:10: I am.

00:03:11: yet all I know is that All, The bits That I Have gathered an accumulator throughout my forty nine years.

00:03:18: a lot Of them aren't Making sense for me anymore A lot of Them aren't true For Me Anymore And What I've noticed is that every time i have a hot blush there's another belief or story program, or pattern.

00:03:34: That literally burning away who?

00:03:39: I am right in this moment as someone whose really trusting my body knows what it doing like really having to trust at my body know what its doing and Having curiosity because they don't know whats gonna happen next and kind of allowing myself to be in this place where all the things I thought i would do into my old age, possibly aren't.

00:04:11: And being okay with that?

00:04:16: Being ok with maybe don't leave a legacy or make a mark... Maybe it's OK for me just become a cuddly grandmother who potters around And some days I'm like, yeah that's what i am right now and then other day is full of vision.

00:04:41: But mostly just resting into being okay with not doing all the time as a mum before did alot for alot years really actively mothering creating my business Just really resting now, like slowing right down and resting into what's here without needing to push for something else in the next thing.

00:05:11: And just letting myself be which feels it's taken sort of eighteen months but I feel a lot more settled into that Now.

00:05:24: so That's kind of where i am Right?

00:05:29: for whoever I am when i wake up and then maybe someone different five minutes later, it may be some one different by dinner time.

00:05:40: So we might get to know various versions of you in this time together?

00:05:44: Oh there's been a lot!

00:05:46: There has been a LOT of versions with me.

00:05:47: yes

00:05:50: Thank You...I noticed just listening my body relaxes because theres recognition also this time in the life of a woman that I'm going through as well, where the body simply says stop.

00:06:08: No more of that rushing or doing and my mind still grapples with it at times.

00:06:16: And then you can get really into not so beautiful place of judgment for myself because this old paradigm is so strong.

00:06:28: How do you handle that when your body tells you stop or slow down?

00:06:34: And then, You follow that and the next moment The mind tells yeah but ya know.

00:06:41: Ya have this big vision and it should be something like.

00:06:43: I think This is illusion of you're only someone valuable if you are doing Something bigger in world and visible with how to handle That.

00:06:52: Yeah I've really battled with that, and I've kind of raged a bit.

00:07:00: And the main thing that's been coming up for me particularly in the last eighteen months is my value.

00:07:09: like i'm only valuable.

00:07:10: you just said if your doing or creating.

00:07:14: so i really had to sink into it Like...I feel worthless!

00:07:19: I feel worth less than all women who are all over social media who are out there being big, been large.

00:07:27: Being seen because that's kind of part of the sort of feminine rising message thats coming across now is like don't hide and I'm like i want to hide!

00:07:37: I just wanna snuggle down somewhere.

00:07:39: be at ease...I dont have the energy or the kinda drive To-to Be Big and Out There And It Means That All The Work That Im Doing Its Much Slower like the word of mouth, I'm not advertising everywhere.

00:07:58: My algorithms are completely shot because i am not generating anything but sort of sinking into this slowness.

00:08:10: Because how my body feels When my brain's going you should be, and then I go do something.

00:08:16: And feel the whole body start to contract Then i have pain coming.

00:08:23: Now what happens is that I'm having a hot flush So like...I really don't want to do it.

00:08:29: The hot flushes are giving me clear indication of moving towards or away.

00:08:37: The comparison stuff just absolutely screws with me Like when I see woman who are doing that, you know out there do in the thing and i just feel myself to shrinking more and more and wanting to go into my cave.

00:08:52: And

00:08:54: what they have to do is it's just feel where my body feels expensive and when it feels contracting and really following this rather than following this and it's.

00:09:06: I've had a lot of practice because i have many, many years of chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia where I would push-and-push to my body would collapse.

00:09:17: So over the last sixteen years as I'm navigated from being days when was like could only do very bare minimum rebuilding myself really working with nervous system so that don't go into those overwhelming shutdown states.

00:09:35: And this phase of my life is really testing me like are you actually going to follow through here?

00:09:41: and how quickly, My body responds when I ignore.

00:09:44: And keep pushing so it's becoming a lot easier for Me To Follow Me.

00:09:51: but i find that society still doesn't Really Allow It.

00:09:57: Like There Is Lots Of Talk Of Allowing It But In Reality Like I sort of have these sort of spewing moments where i'm like, just want to be valued and all my life.

00:10:14: And now... ...I wanna soften!

00:10:16: And I wanna settle into this.. ..and finding more women who are also teetering on the edge of that.

00:10:25: So there's a relief for them about actually This is allowed.

00:10:34: the more that I talk about it and embody that in myself, then that resonates out.

00:10:39: And other people's bodies are going.

00:10:42: oh actually think this is how we're supposed to be right now!

00:10:46: It may not be forever but for Right Now This Is How It Is?

00:10:52: I so resonate also from my own experience with The Question That I Have because i do like To Look Small & Big & Small Just Like This Constant Going The detail here and the relevance for the collective, I think is huge.

00:11:07: So i'm coming to realize that there's actually no such thing as a small or big you know?

00:11:12: There are no such things like living small or Big.

00:11:15: It Is.

00:11:15: Every Moment Is Relevant In A Way And That Is Where The Integrity Is When Im An Integrity With My Whole System.

00:11:24: This Is What Matters.

00:11:29: revolution or you can delete the R of our times is to really come to a sense as to come to literally physical senses.

00:11:36: To come to our physical body and own that again, stop just living in head.

00:11:43: what

00:11:43: are noticing about?

00:11:45: maybe your environment with people around?

00:11:50: For myself big and small when I appear other people small hiding, that's the revolution in myself because I've always done what i have to do to keep my pack going.

00:12:05: So for me to turn around and go actually I'm just gonna do what's right for me... That's massive!

00:12:10: And it might not be massive out there in the world but its massive for me.

00:12:14: so that big for me is becoming small and contained according everybody else as standard.. The other thing big and small thing, being out there or hiding away.

00:12:28: The polarity of those words but that's the nature of women like we ebb and flow so to say we should be out there not hiding nor being small.

00:12:43: it is like...we are not supposed to be one thing all time.

00:12:48: That flat line thats dead You know, if you see the heart machines.

00:12:53: The flat line is dead like woman of this where there's pulsation in this rhythm and even flow And it's really becoming more prevalent at this age Like I'm doing this In each breath Not just for weeks At a time in my menstrual cycle.

00:13:13: It's like i'm doing This every moment now And I am noticing, i have a really beautiful group of women that we circled once in month for red tent.

00:13:25: We've been gathering years now and as all sorts of things and the menstrual cycle was a building block for that.

00:13:39: And now we're starting to head towards this point where, We don't have that twenty-eight day rhythm anymore?

00:13:45: It's realising and feeling new rhythm there because our bodies are still cycling.

00:13:51: they just not cycling with blood And that's really interesting.

00:13:56: I'm so grateful to have a group of women, we're all observing this within our bodies at the same time and just the emotions and deconstruction of stories told ourselves in society systems like there is real sort of realization on how it contains us much Just the breaking out of that and watching.

00:14:27: That sort of ripple just slowly.

00:14:30: it's slow, It is really slow but its felt actually has a different resonance in the body to whole lot words about it.

00:14:44: thats really the body as the key.

00:14:47: Its the felt sense something like knowledge up here wisdom and when we have what's up here, then it is in here.

00:14:57: I always say to people that they've traversed all sorts of different things.

00:15:04: You know with my kids I had a daughter who was addicted to methamphetamine for five years.

00:15:10: We've gone through the sort of eating disorders and sexual trauma, and cutting in suicide attempts And lots are really big stuff With my kids but also my own experience with abusive partners and illnesses all sorts things like that.

00:15:26: so every time i gone through an experience and I've tracked it right into the core, like the deepest point of the darkest yuckiest gunkiest feelings.

00:15:37: And then it's like i've planted a candle there... ...and found my way back out of my body into life.

00:15:43: so now my body is this network of pathways that have been lit.

00:15:48: So when I'm holding spaces.. ..I don't even really have to put a lot of words in space because my body has the map And so anyone who's experiencing an energy that has the same frequency as something I've experienced, then here is a map for them to find their way back out.

00:16:07: So when i'm holding spaces people can go really deep with a real solid kind of grounding because thats what in me and they can find there way again just purely because ive got this map of lit pathways.

00:16:24: It's the embodiment piece, not just as a buzzword but is an lived anchored experience.

00:16:31: Like each of those experiences like they've come into my body and I've anchored them in to the earth rather than trying to clear things off and get them away from me.

00:16:40: it's like bring them in and let them transmute through me... And then they become medicine!

00:16:51: See that as a key aspect as well.

00:16:56: embracing our shadows, an element of what you're saying is to stop resisting the experience that's right here and trying to get away from it but really embracing it in making at own.

00:17:08: And say okay... What?

00:17:10: What's in this?

00:17:11: like I'm gonna look at this and not get rid off before i've even tasted it!

00:17:19: This is a courageous path to walk.

00:17:22: how did you get there ?

00:17:25: I just had no choice.

00:17:27: I've hated every moment of it, like i have not gone.

00:17:31: The shitty experience is happening.

00:17:33: what can i... Like..I've hated Every Moment Of It just like rage!

00:17:36: Why do I Have To Do This Again?

00:17:40: But I had to....I Just Had To...Like You Don't Have A Choice.

00:17:43: Now you know I'm gonna do have a choice.

00:17:45: I Could Have Numbed Myself Drugs Alcohol Screens, you know.

00:17:51: I could have numbed myself and I could've deflected and distracted myself from what was going on.

00:17:57: but the I When I feel things.

00:18:03: I feel them in my whole being.

00:18:06: so it's would take so much for me to numb.

00:18:10: And so After lots of different experiences and I definitely shut myself down You know when into depression?

00:18:17: I had a nervous breakdown over time.

00:18:22: And that's where I found it was five rhythms That i first kind of clicked into and I used to always dance.

00:18:28: So,I would always put on music and just Dance everything that I was feeling.

00:18:32: and then I found Five Rhythms and It Was a with A woman called Gina Chick from Australia?

00:18:36: She is amazing!

00:18:38: The space she held was so solid... ...that I was able To feel things and know I was gonna be okay.. ..I did quite a few retreats in different programs With her ,and realized this is what i've been doing.

00:18:53: I just didn't know, was doing it and so there was this affirmation for me of ah my body has always done What It needed to do?

00:19:05: I Just had no idea that That's what I Was Doing And So I just ran with the five rhythm stuff.

00:19:13: I went in and trained as a somatic dance teacher because we don't have five rhythms training here at New Zealand.

00:19:18: Somatic Dance has similar kind of feel, structure to it.

00:19:24: so i trained with that prior when my daughter was going through her really rough phases... ...I would dance every time I'd meet another feeling And I've got a space here where i have padded floors, big sound system.

00:19:40: I would lock the doors pull curtains and put on music or wave.

00:19:46: just let myself feel everything.

00:19:48: so I met parts of me that wanted to kill the man that had hurt her.

00:19:55: The parts of me, that wanted to tear throats out...the part of me That wanted just drop dead right now because the pain was too big!

00:20:04: ...The part with me who absolutely humiliated as a parent.

00:20:09: this is where my child got to.

00:20:11: I met the darkest feelings and i've got big mirrors.

00:20:17: so literally saw myself in this rage capable of killing and if anyone else saw that it would look like insanity.

00:20:26: but I had to meet it.

00:20:28: And i would finish the dance just exhausted, But I had digested that part of that feeling... ...and then in the next wave that would come.. ..I would put on another playlist.... ....And I would dance with that.

00:20:40: the hopelessness there's no way out!

00:20:42: The absolute grief.

00:20:43: my kid is gonna die.

00:20:46: There'd be days where could spend three or four hours just moving feelings through my body.

00:20:54: It was, it was a lot and I did that for years.

00:21:00: so really, really recognizing every... And i can now like you could give me an emotion to access and I could tell you exactly where in my body that emotions sits what organ it's in?

00:21:14: What feels the texture of sensation and what the movements are when it comes through my body, because I've tracked every single thing as it came up.

00:21:24: And It wasn't easy!

00:21:26: i wanted to be anywhere but What was experiencing?

00:21:29: But that's what I was experiencing.

00:21:31: So how am I going to do this?

00:21:33: How am I gonna meet This?

00:21:36: Movement in music Was one of the ways.

00:21:39: Then there were times where like...I just got a go and lie next To The River Just gonna lie here and let Big Mama like literally hold me while I'm wailing and pouring these feelings down into the earth, letting her transmute them for me.

00:21:58: So it was just meeting every moment with what have i got here?

00:22:03: And whatever my capacity was...and if my capacity is nothing today then im going to put on TV because have a holiday from the intensity of this or I'm going to read a book for a week because i can't think...I can't deal with my actual world right now.

00:22:21: and what I understand now is that my being always has no one how to self-regulate.

00:22:27: And it will meet whatever's there, and then How do I come back down?

00:22:31: Give myself a break!

00:22:32: How Do I go Back in and Meet The Next Thing?

00:22:34: Because When It Is Your Children You Just Got To Keep Going.

00:22:40: And I know i've just dumped a whole lot of dark stuff in there, but that's the thing.

00:22:45: I'm really um...I'm not cool with love and lighting your way through life!

00:22:51: I tried that for a long time and it just kind-of fucked me up because I was so like..i'm doing it wrong.

00:22:58: Like this hard stuff keeps happening I must be doing this love & light thing wrong.

00:23:06: So now i'm really passionate about people Learning how to be with the shadow stuff like really learning, How To Be With It.

00:23:18: Because it's become my most powerful and potent medicine now for working with other people.

00:23:27: Glad you're bringing this topic because I notice also how important that is in my life And everybody's life.

00:23:36: There is no bypassing that part.

00:23:38: And I've realized at some point, again there's like a common storyline... ...that we have been spoon-fed and i'm not even baptized but it still religious thought where.. ..I just got spoon fed again & Again & Again That theres God above somewhere and thats a devil and its separate.

00:23:55: If want to be good then I need to aspire to be holy and not all of the bad stuff which I think it's given a lot to women, especially if being nice and being the good one or morally virtuous.

00:24:11: It is fucking us over really because we are not just that – And i am all of this!

00:24:19: Of course we're holy but also devilish parts… We are ALL OF IT!

00:24:25: To pretend as such isn't so much a lie... That doesn't serve.

00:24:29: I mean, it serves a certain purpose.

00:24:31: It serves to have some silence.

00:24:33: and yeah exactly Yeah.

00:24:36: And more and more over the last few years when i've really gone into my own patterning I adhered really strongly To the kind of new age spiritual stuff as well like I spent years in Every book that I could read every program every course every you know if I could just change My energy.

00:24:59: Then I would attract to me a beautiful life and every time something hard would come.

00:25:03: I'd be like oh, I'm the wrong frequency i'm attracting this too Me And there must be something that i'm doing wrong?

00:25:10: And i'm not focusing on the positive and I just Kind of destroyed myself trying To Be Something Other Than What Life Was Giving Me

00:25:20: and

00:25:23: Having to Really Meet All Those Bits was Liberating.

00:25:27: Because Now I'm Like I'm not gonna go around and kill someone, but i know that there's the bit of me.

00:25:34: it will keep me alive as it needs to.

00:25:48: And I don't need to be battling them anymore.

00:26:02: So there was a liberation and just going fuck.

00:26:06: this is all like, i'm fucked up!

00:26:08: There's all the stuff that's wrong with me...and actually oh my god what relief?

00:26:13: To just be like.

00:26:14: here are all of things that were told where wronged by me....and yeah..just this freedom in that.

00:26:25: really quite pissed off when I hear those kind of like, oh you must have attracted this and You know there's something in this that you need to learn.

00:26:32: And i'm like Do I though?

00:26:34: The learning is not...and Like..you haven't learnt this lesson so life's gonna throw another shitty hard thing.

00:26:40: It's like every experience has given me an opportunity To learn some more skills and Some more tools!

00:26:47: That means now Life throws me some hard stuff, which is just life.

00:26:52: It's not choosing to throw me hard stuff I'm just alive and there's hard stuff.

00:26:56: i have this vast Getty of tools and skills that I can call on so I Can move through things a lot faster than I used to?

00:27:06: I can process something in a day or two as opposed To two or three months or a couple years you know.

00:27:12: So It hasn't got rid of the hard things in life, but I've become what i always say it's like.

00:27:19: The waves are coming and i've become a master surfer you know.

00:27:24: whereas before the waves would roll me my surfboard would be like jabbing me in the head and dragging me under And now I'm just...I know how to surf these waves!

00:27:33: ...and its'a skill set.. ..and tools and my own body knowing How To Move Through Things.

00:27:43: Yeah, just focusing on the positive or avoiding those things is not gonna give me that capacity all these skills to be able to ride the wave.

00:27:52: So it's practice and getting up when I got rolled.

00:28:03: What else does this life then?

00:28:04: one big journey know several journeys really has like stringed together?

00:28:08: And It sounds like.

00:28:12: you're not living the linear lifepath as well You're moving with what is here.

00:28:17: What do I want to say about this?

00:28:18: This...I'm wondering whether to bring this in, but i want too because it's relevant.

00:28:23: So I've been doing some shadow work also for years under world whatever you wanna call that like looking at the dark stuff and my not so pretty parts And.. I came across a book by Carolyn Elliott last year and worked with her extensively Also together with other women.

00:28:45: She wrote existential kink and she looked at it from this perspective of yes, we are all We're not just godly and devilish were all And so how do we embrace that?

00:28:56: And we are also sexual beings.

00:28:58: So we have pleasure in our pains.

00:29:00: actually you know like In the BDSM scene we have Actually Like there's kink.

00:29:05: That way I can have intersexual realms.

00:29:06: we have that without

00:29:07: lives

00:29:08: and what i got From It is that its' actually...in a Way very human and weird at the same time.

00:29:14: to pretend I don't want pleasure, but I am constantly seeking pleasure because i'm a human being.

00:29:19: I'm a sexual human being that is wired for pleasure And pain can bring me pleasure!

00:29:24: If im so used to pain as only okay form of pleasure what am I going create?

00:29:29: Im gonna create pain.

00:29:30: So then get pleasure.

00:29:31: It's like...I've learned how to go McDonalds For food.

00:29:35: Now think thats the only food available When there are much more.

00:29:40: So I worked with her and it really works for me, really well.

00:29:44: And she committed suicide a couple of weeks ago or month ago... ...and they rocked my boat in terms like wow you know there's this woman that walks such a courageous path... ...she has to work so many people.

00:29:56: at the end-of-the day She only found one way!

00:30:00: I have no idea what happened for her But it leaves me with this question of how does that integrate?

00:30:05: And now I'm coming back to you.

00:30:06: It's like, How do they integrate in your life and change their relationships?

00:30:10: or how is there a nestled into everyday lives where we're not just doing the same thing for ourselves but being also held by a wider funnel... This was another question from myself as well!

00:30:31: Doing it alone in a way.

00:30:32: Yes, some things I need to go through alone is my path But i want that To be embedded In a wider web and That Is What?

00:30:41: I care about like how do we hold each other also in dark times?

00:30:46: Yeah, I think for myself A lot of those really Dark Places.

00:30:51: I went by Myself.

00:30:53: It Felt Like I Couldn't Access it if There was Someone Else in the Space.

00:30:59: Having said that What I realised was that there is no one else who trusted enough to be able handle when i went into those dark places.

00:31:11: So, When I spoke about my friend Gina in the spaces she holds... ...I felt safe going here because they know she can hold these spaces and then other times where.. ..I'm aware this will too much for most of people so I won't let myself go fall in and I just found that my own space with me as the guardian of that, then i knew that would get through whatever was feeling.

00:31:39: As no matter how dark it was or how long at took a new way to get though but there is a few people that are now only.

00:31:49: maybe a couple had a punch on say this may be two three that's.

00:31:55: I feel like they could hold where I go.

00:31:58: so For a lot of people they will go to places.

00:32:03: what I've observed when i've been in spaces with them and They've gone, and they like well that was the deepest.

00:32:09: I went To The darkest And I'm watching going.

00:32:11: That's not that far at all so I have to be really mindful Of that When I'm holding my Spaces is that?

00:32:17: When I sort of Go okay We're All Here and let's go to here.

00:32:21: we'll go just below this surface.

00:32:24: and for some People that Like rock bottom because this just below the surface for me is as rock-bottom.

00:32:33: For other people and So, The depth of where I can go?

00:32:40: i'm really really mindful of not Wiping People out like.

00:32:45: I don't want to see people in a chaos state that they Can't Repair from Or it takes them a long time to integrate that and come back into an everyday world.

00:32:54: The integration piece is like slow, Like letting when you've gone through a big transformation in the shadow work is your whole being changes shape And then You Come Back Into The World That's A Jigsaw Piece and try to fit back in.

00:33:11: And you're a different shape, so that whole jigsaw whether it's your partner or kids or flatmates or work mates they are all like hang on a minute we've got this picture!

00:33:22: Now you have come into a new shape.

00:33:25: everything gets disrupted there can be quite a bit of chaos And I now know if i'm going to go and do some training or work, whatever it is.

00:33:35: I'll come back be prepared for what that chaos looks like as it ripples through my environment My partner and kids.

00:33:43: they know this right?

00:33:45: We prep before we leave.

00:33:48: You know, I might come back and I might want to leave you because they often do.

00:33:51: They often come home And i'm like...I don't wanna be in a partnership anymore or live here?

00:33:55: I was gonna get my car and drive!

00:33:57: It's happened so many times now that when I am in it everyone else is like she'll get through She will settle down again Then everything slowly starts to reshape around whatever it has changed for the shadow stuff.

00:34:18: But I'm really quite fierce about people not going hunting for shadow stuff or working with people who don't have the capacity to hold it because they've seen and i've experienced myself like, went into probably a two-year complete breakdown.

00:34:36: And super scary... The scariest thing ever been through!

00:34:41: And had no one was able to navigate me though that really that shouldn't have happened.

00:34:49: Now, I'm like it should've happen because It did and what my being was work through.

00:34:55: but i would never intentionally put someone into this sort of state Because its just a completely fried system.

00:35:02: And yeah...I wanted to die and thought I was going to die.

00:35:07: My whole body is like it had been short circuited.

00:35:12: so Yeah, fierce about.

00:35:16: don't just go and.

00:35:18: Spark things off in people or start things.

00:35:21: and for people who want to do that shadow work been really, really discerning about how they worked with.

00:35:26: because it's just too easy to have someone who isn't able to hold a safe space but also is enabled to navigate whatever it is that comes up in you?

00:35:37: And so that's why I would rather work alone than be in the space where the space holder, if I drop into something they don't know how to navigate themselves.

00:35:47: Like i'll get myself through but they won't be able to navigate themselfs or anyone else who's in this space because of where ive gone too.

00:35:55: so im aware that i amplify and activate in spaces that Im In.

00:36:00: So Im just... I'm mindful now like it used to be quite sort-of..I Know I can do This And It will create a big wave within the group.

00:36:10: There's a time and place, we can do this slow and gently.

00:36:13: That is the wisdom that has come with age and experience.

00:36:17: so now I get quite particularly at things like festivals when they sort of spark off big things...I'm just like oh my god no!

00:36:26: It could be quite damaging for people.

00:36:30: it's a lot work to bring their bodies back into a state equilibrium just for their mental health and well-being, the ability to be in life when your whole system is being frizzled.

00:36:51: I'm glad also that integration piece how important it is touches me.

00:36:56: hear you are met because of experiences with family who know okay this part will pass.

00:37:08: And this is what I mean, how are we woven in the fabric of life with community?

00:37:14: So here you have community.

00:37:16: You have family that supports or it's compassionate.

00:37:23: when your return and hearing you're a mother-of-four like yeah wow...you must be a lioness!

00:37:29: Or..you are powerful woman to bring four beings into the world societal stuff of how our mother is being held and honored, and supported.

00:37:44: And how are we supporting women in general?

00:37:47: I heard from a woman-led company recently that they shut down their whole operation for one week every week trimester or something... ...and then have menstrual leave.

00:38:00: so when you're bleeding don't go to work.

00:38:01: just as simple as that!

00:38:03: We could spin this further and further but i think it would really help For integration.

00:38:09: that would help for going through the processes.

00:38:11: That are necessary and which I dare to say.

00:38:14: yes, they're important for you.

00:38:15: Yes They have been official too You but there beneficial for your family?

00:38:18: There a beneficial for The people that come in contact with your family And their work on the morphogenetic field.

00:38:24: It's like the women i see us women doing the work if you want to call it workload over and That necessitates and deserves support from each other and From

00:38:35: yeah

00:38:36: society at large.

00:38:38: Yeah, it's one of my things that really agitates me at the moment is how would my life have been different if there was that support when I had my children all the way through you know?

00:38:53: It just isn't like its changing for some women but Its not mainstream and You Really Have to Push To Have Something Different And To Be just the value of a woman and her cycle.

00:39:11: Just that one part is like so important in all this stuff.

00:39:15: I've learned with red tint, how our energy levels fluctuate years of beating myself up because i was down-and-up-and blaming my hormones for the fact that wasn't productive or going to these slumps.

00:39:35: you know, I've had to do a lot of apologizing to my body.

00:39:39: Like oh i'm so sorry!

00:39:41: You were doing what you meant to do but I was in a society and a system that just did not expect that... And if we did how different would women's mental health be?

00:39:51: How different will our childrens lives be?

00:39:54: it's something i've really tried to give to my girls because my eldest three are all girls is like When you're bleeding and you want to rest in my youngest daughter, she's really good with it.

00:40:04: She'll just be like day one of my blade and we just don't see her.

00:40:08: She's just in a room and that sort thing And everyone just were like yeah That's what that's what she doing?

00:40:14: And she knows It's okay for him.

00:40:16: do that.

00:40:17: and You know is this those tiny little bits?

00:40:20: but it starts a massive Massive thing that really needs to change to Just value these birth that we are on one little step at a time, One conversation and one little podcast.

00:40:42: You know?

00:40:44: One action at the time And do you have some like a practical hint or something in one step of woman That's listening now could integrate into her daily routine Or enter her week entered her life to come closer To her body too Her inner landscape.

00:41:01: I don't necessarily not a thing but something that I've got an amazing therapist and this is a piece that just changed everything for me, it's the only thing we actually have to do is survive.

00:41:20: The biology in evolution of human species are the only things you need to survive means that you survived regardless of whatever circumstance Whatever situation, whatever traumas your body did.

00:41:35: What ever it needed to do in order for you two stay alive and You did that?

00:41:40: You succeeded like a hundred percent success not just seventy five percent or twenty-five percent.

00:41:47: one hundred percent Success at doing what you came here to do which is to survive like every single one of you has succeeded One hundred percent at surviving and just really letting that settle into your body.

00:42:06: Your body did everything, but it needed to do in order for you to stay alive.

00:42:13: And our brains might interpret that and say we should have done this on that and blah blah blah.

00:42:18: But your body did exactly what I thought in the moment was going to keep it alive.

00:42:23: It was right.

00:42:25: complete success like complete.

00:42:32: Thank you for walking your path and sharing so abundantly.

00:43:03: And this could be a daunting thing.

00:43:06: And daunting is not a problem, daunting simply means it's new... It's scary and why not do it anyway?

00:43:15: This is where evolution lies.

00:43:17: Evolution is there where the fear is.

00:43:20: so we're inviting you to join us on this journey and make it your own!

00:43:25: You can do this by Yes, keep diving into these free episodes.

00:43:29: The episodes that we're gifting from a place of abundance and necessity And you can also become a member benefiting From some special content That we upload in the membership area.

00:43:42: But really the membership portal is for You to take more responsibility So that We Can Keep Creating This Content!

00:43:50: If you were willing To step even closer Into this circle You could join our In person, live offerings online.

00:43:58: there are many transformative workshops and trainings that are on offer from various radically alive women across the globe.

00:44:09: And you can find all of our offerings on our website RadicallyLiveWomen.com.

00:44:16: This edgecast is brought to you by Radically Live Women.

00:44:20: See You Soon!