From Safety to Freedom: Lindsey Lockett — Mystery Guest #2

00:00:14: This is radically alive.

00:00:16: women's age cast.

00:00:48: found Lindsay, reached out to her and made this conversation possible.

00:00:52: And if you know of someone that would be a great fit for a mystery guest episode please reach out to Irene.

00:01:00: You will find her contact details on our website radicallyalivewomen dot com.

00:01:05: slash edgecast.

00:01:08: If you scroll down the team you'll find Irene there.

00:01:12: We hope you enjoy.

00:01:17: For my own journey trying to fit inside the box of The Good Godly Submissive, docile modest girl slash woman was my efforts at trying to be safe.

00:01:32: But I wasn't free because i was in a box right like nothing about that Was Free Because It Wasn't Me and for me.

00:01:42: If I had to sum up my healing journey in one sentence, it would be.

00:02:11: It's not

00:02:14: hard for me to talk about myself, it would be hard for someone I know nothing about.

00:02:21: Let us be brave together and at this edge of speaking the things that even like i'd be curious here also whether you will say something you've never said before.

00:02:32: Maybe discover maybe think about yourself who haven't been aware or who knows?

00:02:37: Maybe!

00:02:38: Who

00:02:38: knows?!

00:02:38: That is exciting and juicy.

00:02:42: Yeah.

00:02:43: So how do these work?

00:02:44: I mean, mainly it's about being real with each other.

00:02:48: This is what... There isn't one way that they work?

00:02:51: how or don't you know?

00:02:53: Let us find out!

00:02:54: But i love this going to the edge of what we now and have a fear there And be okay with it.

00:03:01: You must be curious and courageous otherwise you wouldn´t here.

00:03:04: So let�s play, lets have fun.

00:03:08: You can say whatever you want ask for anything.

00:03:10: We could also say Actually, this sounds crap.

00:03:14: We don't want that.

00:03:15: on audit we can always delete stuff.

00:03:17: Okay go the roar of the better I like for me and the realer is a better.

00:03:22: And as i think it's great too?

00:03:25: I wanted to get to know you now once another

00:03:29: okay?

00:03:29: Amazing!

00:03:30: I wanna know who are never heard of you before.

00:03:33: I just got his random dm from someone That was like...I Think he'd make a great mystery guest podcast and I was like, oh my gosh how interesting.

00:03:43: i have to see what this is about.

00:03:44: so...I love being on podcasts though!

00:03:48: I LOVE it.

00:03:49: yeah well do you love about it?

00:03:55: Well..I love talking about myself.

00:03:57: I love that.

00:03:58: You're really honest.

00:04:00: ummm....I love talkin' bout myself.

00:04:02: I also Love Being asked questions About Myself or My Work That make me have to think about things I probably haven't thought about before, just because someone new is asking the questions.

00:04:19: Um...I'm also a very chatty curious Gemini son and i have Mars in Gemini so my communication tends to be sometimes little feisty.

00:04:31: Sometimes it's a little disruptive!

00:04:36: But yeah, I do love being on podcasts.

00:04:37: I told somebody one time if i could just like be paid to Be On People's podcast?

00:04:42: I would make it my job.

00:04:43: Okay.

00:04:44: So have anybody here is this and wants to pay Lindsay for being in a podcast?

00:04:47: please reach out to her.

00:04:48: Yeah Then

00:04:50: I'm accepting offers.

00:04:52: Right Yeah, I Love It.

00:04:55: you know.

00:04:55: what You're Already Given Like When I'm already Sensing of you is, yes the curiosity but also the boldness of being okay with who you are and being ok with claiming that.

00:05:05: And saying yeah I love...that!

00:05:09: Yeah

00:05:09: because what would be the point if me like oh i hate talking about myself?

00:05:14: And I hate talking my work?

00:05:16: it's just such a drag Like What Would Be The Point Of

00:05:18: That?!

00:05:20: You might be like It's A Red Flag.

00:05:22: You Might Want To Do Something Else

00:05:25: Yeah, and yet you know so many women have like.

00:05:27: it seems to be a long path for some of us To get to that point.

00:05:31: And I'd be curious about how That is for You?

00:05:34: Have you always been Like that or was there also a path?

00:05:37: because There's all this conditioning Of being modest don't shine too much Be kind whatever that means.

00:05:43: and really the messages Cut yourself short put your.

00:05:46: in German we say Put yours light under the chair Don't Yeah, don't try too much.

00:05:52: Hide it yeah.

00:05:53: um so that's a really interesting question.

00:05:57: and as when you first asked the question I was like yeah i've always been like

00:06:01: this.

00:06:02: but

00:06:03: then as you got into the question more and you were talking about like highlight or being more modest or something?

00:06:10: Like I was definitely raised

00:06:12: to be like that.

00:06:14: Um...I was raised in The Bible Belt itself In Texas.

00:06:18: So Definitely had like A super Christian evangelical Purity culture modest as hottest Surrender your life kind of upbringing.

00:06:32: And so like what you're asking me?

00:06:34: Like have you always liked to talk about yourself?

00:06:36: or how do you always known who we are.

00:06:38: Have you always been bold?

00:06:41: it?

00:06:41: my answer is weird because My it's like yes, I tried really really hard to fit into the good Christian girl box really tried super, super hard.

00:06:55: I wanted to please God.

00:06:57: I want it to please Jesus and other leaders in the church who were looking at me.

00:07:04: And i also like have always had a mouth.

00:07:12: The thing that used get me in trouble most whenever as kid was

00:07:17: talking

00:07:18: or asking questions.

00:07:20: And so my answer is I've always been a talker.

00:07:23: Have always asked questions, have...I've always wanted to go deep with people and have really authentic conversations.

00:07:30: but the environment i grew up in told me don't be like that!

00:07:35: And I tried really hard to follow the rules and I just couldn't.

00:07:41: So My answer is yes.

00:07:43: when I'm heavily heavily masked Like im not bold and courageous chatty and all of that.

00:07:50: But when I don't have the conditioning, And i can pick off the mask then like yes!

00:07:57: I love talking about myself...and I LOVE TALKING ABOUT

00:08:00: YOU!!!

00:08:02: Like everything that I would tell you about myself-I would immediately turn around be like..And what about you?

00:08:07: Because to me there's no point in just talking about my self unless im also not finding out something about you.

00:08:12: Like I want to find out something About The person Im Talking To.

00:08:14: I Don'T Just Want Take Up All This Space But I am comfortable taking up space, and i think that has gotten me in trouble a lot.

00:08:24: How's this got you into trouble?

00:08:27: So like I said it had a mouth And my parents did some really fucked-up shit whenever I was kid...I could tell you many different examples of things but Ill give the most obvious one.

00:08:37: It is that I knew growing up we didn't have money Like I KNEW!

00:08:42: My parents put groceries on credit cards.

00:08:45: I Knew That my parents were fighting about money.

00:08:48: I knew, like I was a baton twerler.

00:08:50: My mom really wanted me to be a batone twerlar and I knew that we couldn't afford for Meen To Be A Twerler.

00:08:57: but she still Really Wanted Me To Be Twerler.

00:08:58: so if i would mess up She Would Be Like I pay all this money For You To Twirl Right?

00:09:03: So Like I Knew From A Very Early Age We Don'T Have Money.

00:09:09: And Then I Also Grew Up On A Horse Ranch And I Remember Knowing That We Didn't have Money.

00:09:15: And then my Stepdad Would Come Home With A New Horse.

00:09:20: That was fifteen hundred three thousand four thousand dollars something like that and I Wasn't trying to be snarky or disrespectful.

00:09:28: I would just put two and two together Which is one we don't have any money.

00:09:33: in two to one you came home with a new horse.

00:09:36: One plus one equals, too.

00:09:37: And i'd Be Like why are You buying New Horses when We Don't Have Any Money?

00:09:43: I feel like that's a perfectly legitimate question, but coming from a nine-year old to man with a fucking weak ego apparently.

00:09:49: That question is not allowed and so one of the things my stepfather said whenever he would open his big mouth when i was very tiny child He'd say Your alligator mouth overloads your hummingbird

00:10:02: ass

00:10:05: meaning you have this really big mouth in this little body to be quiet, because clearly I was speaking the truth whenever.

00:10:19: Why did you bring home a horse when we don't have any money?

00:10:22: Right so that like...I'm a projector in human design.

00:10:26: i don't know if you know anything about human design but as a projector-a tiny baby projector..i was seeing what wasn't working and my family's life and i was pointing it out ,but i wasn't being invited.

00:10:38: I kind of feel like at nine years old, that was a little bit wiser than my parents were even at a little age and i could call That stuff out.

00:10:49: But I always gotten so much trouble for it.

00:10:51: For-I Was a smart aleck!

00:10:52: I had a big mouth.

00:10:53: My alligator mouth overloaded my hummingbird ass.

00:10:55: I needed to sit down And shut up...that was the kinda stuff.

00:10:59: So yes Brave bold courageous takeup space..i'll tell you Like It is but no because I constantly got shoved back Down in the box.

00:11:12: Yeah, well thank you for sharing!

00:11:15: So I get really this sense of okay yes we've always been that and part must have been strong enough to pull you through or to knock on your door.

00:11:24: again it's like no yeah he can't shut me down.

00:11:27: was there a part of view?

00:11:28: they had to be reclaimed?

00:11:31: How did?

00:11:31: how do go about them...I'm

00:11:32: not sure if I already had it and knew that, but just let the conditioning go.

00:11:41: Because later when i wasn't a child anymore as an adult my husband was pastor in Bible Belt in the South And we have a pastor at The Last Church My Husband Worked At.

00:11:55: He Was A Real Special Case.

00:12:02: I mean, I don't remember having any sort of like confrontation with him.

00:12:08: But I think that my very being was confrontational to him and I sang with my husband because he's a worship leader.

00:12:14: so i would sing With My Husband at church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights And do rehearsals On Tuesdays and all the things.

00:12:21: One time we decided To Do an acoustic service So it Was just my husband playing The guitar.

00:12:25: We had A Jim Bae Player in a cellist and it was a really intimate setting, And I wanted to take off my shoes because i normally would wear heels on the stage.

00:12:36: This is really intimate!

00:12:37: I want be able close my eyes not worry about falling over cause im wearing high heels So took of my heels.

00:12:43: A month later The pastor approaches My husband & I. When you took your shoes for that service All I could focus on Was your feet.

00:12:55: That's gross.

00:12:56: You'd have your feet out Because I didn't take my shoes off for people to notice, you know what?

00:13:05: I mean.

00:13:05: I wasn't trying to be like oh i'm gonna Take My Shoes Off and Be Very Religious or Whatever.

00:13:10: I was Just Like.

00:13:11: I don't want To Close My Eyes And Have Heels on and Fall over so I'm Gonna Not Wear Shoes.

00:13:16: and Yeah it Was Like For me.

00:13:19: It Was Also An Act of Intimacy.

00:13:21: I'm very Much A Person.

00:13:22: That's Like When You're On Holy Ground You Take Your Fucking Shoes off.

00:13:25: you Know And I believe that still, even though i'm not a Christian anymore.

00:13:29: Like when I come to a sacred place or replace that feel-sacred to me Even if there's no like sign saying it's sacred...I often will like Feel a sense of awe and wonder and want to bow my head Or take my shoes off or kneel down as an act Of respect and worship sometimes!

00:13:50: That is what taking my shoes was so weird.

00:13:54: The pastor had such a problem with it and later I was thinking about, years later.

00:14:03: Way after i'd started the journey on now...I think even my worship of God is so authentic that it's like threatening to the pastor because ...i wasn't waiting for anyone to suggest a way be more intimate And it offended him.

00:14:29: To this day, I don't know what is offensive about my shoes being off because at that time... ...I had very pedicured feet!

00:14:36: You know?

00:14:37: Like i don't anymore cause' I live on a homestead in the middle of nowhere now- I haven't had a pedicure in over a decade but.. At THAT TIME I HAD VERY PEDICURED FEET.

00:14:45: So like there was really nothing about my feet That was actually gross.

00:14:51: I think this guy was just like so threatened that even my relationship with the divine, Was more mask-off than his relationship.

00:15:01: And one of things made him a very special character is he had a very performative spirituality or relationship with God and whatever... ...and i don't actually remember the question you asked me before starting off on this tangent!

00:15:16: Yeah,

00:15:19: what kind of path did you take to... Did you have to reclaim?

00:15:24: The reclamation.

00:15:26: So in twenty-twentyish is kinda... Twenty nineteen was when my healing journey started.

00:15:32: I guess it's not even the current iteration anymore.

00:15:35: Healing Journey One Point O started In twenty-nineteenish.

00:15:39: We're like on Healing Journey Six Point O but Healing Journey one point o started in two thousand nineteen with a psych ward stay and suicide attempt.

00:15:47: So that's kind of how it started.

00:15:50: and then I got into what I do now, which is a trauma integration coach in our relationship coach.

00:15:55: And I did a lot of somatic work on my focus as always authenticity.

00:15:59: so just incase you didn't know What i did?

00:16:01: You have no

00:16:02: idea.

00:16:03: but at the same time It was an idea...I can sense it!

00:16:08: So yeah..i think That My journey Of being In a psych hospital following A suicide attempt On all these psych drugs Was my awakening.

00:16:17: And from that place, I began to learn about the nervous system and trauma and integration and abandonment.

00:16:26: All of those things.

00:16:29: Just slowly put these pieces together for myself and walked on a journey... ...and it's like.

00:16:37: this is everyone's healing journey but i'm not sure.. But at least people who find their way with me think so too!

00:16:46: They reach a point or maybe multiple points where who they've been being, Who I was being Was no longer completely true To who i felt.

00:16:59: I was.

00:17:00: so it's like the The external expression of me Didn't match the internal truth if that makes sense.

00:17:10: So The internal truth was Who have always been?

00:17:17: Like loud, bold take-up space.

00:17:22: Call it like it is tell the truth even when people don't like it.

00:17:25: really opinionated Like you never have to guess what I'm thinking And that was always who i had been.

00:17:30: but I had The church and my stepdad and my mom and all these different People being like no Don't be like That.

00:17:36: so then as I'm on My healing journey It Was just like Letting the know don't Be like that.

00:17:43: come up and actually Just be able To sit with that and go.

00:17:46: Is that true for me?

00:17:48: is putting on that identity of modesty and purity, being the like docile submissive Christian woman.

00:17:55: Like they put that identity on me I tried to wear it.

00:18:00: It clearly was not an outfit fit And so now i'm just letting myself take it off.

00:18:06: This what I believe about authenticity.

00:18:08: I don't believe that Authenticity Is something.

00:18:10: you do a buncha work then find it.

00:18:13: I think its already in you and you take off the layers, and you excavate.

00:18:19: And you find it there—it's here!

00:18:20: It is not out

00:18:21: there.".

00:18:21: You know?

00:18:22: So I think my journey in every iteration of it has been more like oh...here's another layer.

00:18:28: that isn't me…I'm letting it fall away so i can be more coherent meaning my inner truth and outward expression match.

00:18:41: That makes sense.

00:18:42: Totally.

00:18:44: Totally lands on me.

00:18:45: I deeply resonate with that imagery as well.

00:18:49: So it's not really about becoming someone else or, is more remembering who you were in the first place right?

00:18:58: Yeah!

00:18:58: It's unbecoming.

00:18:59: Unbecoming.

00:19:00: yeah... I'm becoming things we learned to fit into, adapt and be safe which was also a noble endeavour when it worked.

00:19:10: And during Covid like….

00:19:14: We don't have to talk about COVID for a long time, but I'm just using this as an example is like.

00:19:18: I noticed during COVID- This was really the first time this language came into.

00:19:20: my awareness Was...I notice there were a lot of people who we're really focused on being safe Right?

00:19:30: And so their focus was, I'm not going to leave my house.

00:19:33: If i do...I am gonna wear a mask and gloves.

00:19:36: I will get the vaccine!

00:19:37: Another vaccine, another one, another vaccine....and im not shaming anybody for doing any of these things.

00:19:42: It doesn't even matter what side that eye is on.

00:19:44: it's just an observation from a pattern in The Collective.

00:19:48: So there are people who were really focused on safety Really distancing themselves From everyone else Not having lives For couple years Their focus with safety.

00:19:57: That totally fine.

00:19:58: And then there were like other people in COVID, and their focus was freedom.

00:20:03: They're like don't tell me what to do with my body?

00:20:06: I won't wear a mask if i don't want too or im an adult!

00:20:09: I can make a choice about what I'd be doing right.

00:20:11: so we had those two camps of people that are very warring against eachother.

00:20:17: it's terrible.

00:20:19: It is just nasty.

00:20:24: But zooming out from COVID, working with as many nervous systems as I've worked at this point.

00:20:30: The whole reason that the COVID split of there's people who want to be safe and free is because their nervous system was perceiving what happened in those times.

00:20:44: And for my own journey trying fit inside a box of the good godly submissive docile modest girl slash woman, was my efforts at trying to be safe.

00:21:00: But I wasn't free because I was in a box right?

00:21:04: Like nothing about that was free cuz it wasn't me and for Me.

00:21:10: if i had to sum up My healing journey In one sentence It would Be...I saw how I Was doing all of this shit To keep myself Safe And I decided I wanted to be Free and yeah..i can see That like everywhere, in the way that people interact with the world.

00:21:25: People are either interacting with the word through a lens of freedom or they're interacting through the world With a lens safety and their choices there relationships everything is kind of dictated through whatever lens They're looking at the World Through.

00:21:40: I certainly know There's A place for Safety but i also Know Safety Is very subjective And...I don't even Claim to host Safe Spaces.

00:21:51: I'm not like, oh come here it's a safe space because i can't fucking guarantee that for anybody.

00:21:56: But yeah...I think my sort of north star is freedom and respecting my nervous system and my animal body for the ways in which she keeps me safe but also knowing that i'm not just an animal body that has a nervous system that wants to stay safe-i also have a soul and my soul doesn't give a shit about safety, right?

00:22:24: My soul is like this limitless expansive thing.

00:22:29: It just wants to be expressed in alive through the

00:22:32: body.".

00:22:34: And I guess we could say that these two parts of us are at war with each other but don't actually think they're.

00:22:41: You take care of animal bodies.

00:22:43: it does what for you does all those things and then you have the soul.

00:22:48: And your soul was like, I want truth and I want freedom and I went integrity and All of these things...and i think that The journey really is about Like the integration Of..the two.

00:23:02: For me, the authentic self or god-self Is When Your animal body & Soul body are just really integrated.

00:23:11: You can choose From a place where I'm listening to my body I hear my body's messages, i feel what feels like it's unsafe or whatever and also here the truth within myself.

00:23:24: What wants to be expressed through me even though im afraid?

00:23:28: And can integrate those two so that Im not overriding my body spiritually bypassing right so that my soul is just constantly expressing itself Because that would really dishonor the limitations of my body, you know what I mean?

00:23:41: And it does have limits but this soul is limitless.

00:23:44: and i just don't see these parts in me at war with each other as more like im on a journey of integrating them.

00:23:53: As I listen to your heart expands with joy.

00:23:56: because then again yeah... Yeah!

00:23:58: Because I know there's from our own journey This real hunger for freedom For autonomy for absolute sovereignty which I see we are born for as human beings.

00:24:11: We're born to be sovereign beings just like every other animal, yeah?

00:24:15: And we have specific skills and specific gifts as humans but we are part of the whole orchestra and this freedom is such a big part of it for me as well.

00:24:28: It can so resonate to your sharing also with COVID times.

00:24:32: How that.

00:24:33: in general though... Like apart from the general narrative which I see play out a lot like this.

00:24:38: This is also the way to control people, if they have a lot of unconscious...I say unconscious fear that they don't know how to manage and then their nervous system is fried because there's constant threat And you don't what do with it.

00:24:53: So in constant survival just be safe To get along somehow In all sorts ways Be physically bit financially because of threatening wars, all that.

00:25:10: Then you can be manipulated easily and really controlled easily unless you do the breaking free from within to actually create life in a different

00:25:24: place.".

00:25:25: Yeah absolutely!

00:25:28: And I think like this journey is safe but not for me.

00:25:35: Oh, I can be free and safe at the same time.

00:25:38: Right?

00:25:59: Right?

00:25:59: The animal body is going to do what the body's gonna send out, it sends out alarms and signals.

00:26:04: It'll perceive things faster than you have a conscious thought about what its perceiving.

00:26:10: Here's an example... I had a women community online called Rooted Web.

00:26:16: A woman left the other day.

00:26:18: we have sort of exit thing that women go through when they leave which tells us their reason for leaving And we hope that they tell us like a really honest reason because if we can make something better, We will.

00:26:31: So this woman said That she was leaving Because of me and She wasn't leaving because I had done Something wrong?

00:26:39: She Was Like.

00:26:40: i'm actually Really proud Of how lindsay shows up on social media.

00:26:45: i've Just realized she's not for Me.

00:26:49: It was nothing that was wrong in the community.

00:26:51: Nothing, it was literally like my energy and her energy were not coherent with each other.

00:26:58: And when a message came through My body sort of instantly had this feeling from my solar plexus out right?

00:27:05: Sorta about electric shock-feeling Which I have no conscious thought over Right!

00:27:12: I wasn't like okay body having an electric shock feeling while i read This Message you know But I had the electric shock feeling and then i was like aware that.

00:27:21: I have an electric shock-feeling, but it's like oh Okay body is filling a little abandoned at the moment.

00:27:28: And Then I started laughing?

00:27:30: And now just like And not to me That Was my soul self.

00:27:36: that was Like Coming Through.

00:27:37: so It was like The animal Got its reaction and in the Soul Is like.

00:27:42: We know what the truth of this is like.

00:27:44: This is Not A big deal you Know Truthfully, I am grateful that she left and I'm grateful that She sent a really honest message.

00:27:55: And i'm also really grateful for my own authenticity because It clarified some things.

00:28:02: you know what?

00:28:03: What I mean me just being myself clarified For someone else.

00:28:08: You're not for Me!

00:28:10: And I'm so not offended by That...I'm So Grateful She had the agency to take that information and actually act on it.

00:28:20: And be like, I'm going leave a community!

00:28:22: And honestly tell you why?

00:28:24: I think thats really brave cause she could have just been like oh...I don't spend as much time here than i would.

00:28:30: Like..she could've given me some bullshit can answer but she didn't.

00:28:33: She risked being super honest with me and I love....that.

00:28:38: But I can't lie that my animal body didn't immediately feel something, right?

00:28:43: And i don't think the point of healing is to get to a place where the body doesn't have its initial reaction.

00:28:48: To some thing it's like yeah My body works.

00:28:52: That's why It's having Its Initial Reaction!

00:28:54: It's doing what it supposed to do... ...I just Don't want that initial reaction to make my decisions for me.. ..i wanna Have The Reaction Feel It and then let myself discern through What's Happening and then respond.

00:29:09: And when I laughed, i was just like oh...I know this is okay!

00:29:13: Like my body's doing what it does!

00:29:19: A great example.

00:29:20: a great example yeah.. I've had recently a similar experience.

00:29:24: tell you bit about what I do.

00:29:25: have just recently done this online summit together with the woman for women in German called adventure sisterhood And we would, yeah every day send emails out and release interviews.

00:29:37: Have live workshops...and they'd come.

00:29:39: feedback you know?

00:29:40: We tell people from the beginning like this is about authentic sisterhood.

00:29:45: Tell us what's really going on.

00:29:46: show yourself an area to be authentic!

00:29:50: Then it did first receiving a feedback that was maybe more in critical line of.

00:29:55: I had similar reaction.

00:29:57: Or if someone would go like, hey I want to actually cancel my subscription.

00:30:01: I'd be like, ah!

00:30:02: You know this pride going there?

00:30:04: I don't know whether that's the herd animal or these.

00:30:06: pride in women especially... ...that wants just everybody stay together and forever.

00:30:11: but then for me it was more of an experience where i noticed that.

00:30:15: And then when you say oh.. It is also a bit like my ego almost saying But in wanting to defend and noticing would just have this gap.

00:30:27: And then I actually, it didn't laugh for me—it was a different reaction.

00:30:32: and the joy came.

00:30:33: but I felt sad because what I had invited them to do they were daring show themselves stay stuck in the... Which I could have done easily, right?

00:30:58: Yeah.

00:30:59: Oh that's really magical!

00:31:03: Isn't it crazy?

00:31:03: how tough feedback can be really

00:31:05: magical?!

00:31:06: And this is a journey for me definitely.

00:31:08: but to get to the point where i actually take feedback no matter which direction as really this gift helps life to thrive and this body?

00:31:21: Yeah, and I'm guessing that you take the feedback in.

00:31:25: And then do you have some sort of like discernment or filter system within yourself?

00:31:32: where?

00:31:33: You can take maybe feedback that's negative and filter it through your own whatever that is and then decide if It's true for you are not so they're just taking all feedback as truth That you have to believe our All-feedback Is a problem you Have To Fix Or Something Like

00:31:51: Definitely.

00:31:52: It's also about letting myself be touched, but it doesn't mean I have to be on the same page or after a grade.

00:31:58: Doesn't mean that at all!

00:32:00: You

00:32:00: change something as of what they say?

00:32:02: No...it

00:32:02: is really discerning and totally right.

00:32:07: How does this fit me like you said?

00:32:10: Is this appropriate for what i want to wear or not?

00:32:13: Yes

00:32:13: And so..I got into place.

00:32:15: where was thinking....I think I learned from a Brene Brown book there to lead.

00:32:21: If you're not standing in the arena, You don't get to tell me how do it.

00:32:27: It helped make just a back myself up and say okay yeah interesting perspective but I'm in the Arena right now And i am doing my best so im gonna see how is goes.

00:32:40: Some of its useful because sometimes women were also being nitty gritty with each other and trying perfect everything putting the perfectionism onto like in The Rubbish Bin or on The Compost?

00:32:54: Definitely,

00:32:55: definitely.

00:32:55: Yeah yeah I feel like...I don't know if you're on social media or not but i feel people project a lot of perfectionism on me and how they show up online And im just like You are literally a total stranger.

00:33:14: What world are we living in where a total stranger tells another total stranger?

00:33:19: You really shouldn't wipe your nose when you're talking like because I was crying on camera one time and i went like this.

00:33:26: And then, One of the comments is that... You know, not forbid.

00:33:43: I have snot that I need to wipe away with my hand because i sat down and wasn't planning on crying so didn't bring a tissue with me.

00:33:51: you know what I mean?

00:33:52: That leads back or it reminds of this past episode which is mentioned.

00:33:59: if someone wants to be offended there's no way I can avoid that.

00:34:02: everybody can be offended about everything.

00:34:04: actually I could be offended by anything as well Which I laugh when I don't notice myself.

00:34:10: It's like, wow I can really be offended about anything.

00:34:14: Pick my thing and i'll be a fan of it!

00:34:16: But

00:34:18: I don't know if you feel this way too...I CAN be offended but the more I take off outfits that don't fit me The less offended I am by other people doing right?

00:34:31: Because im just like oh guess they're taking an outfit that doesn't fit.

00:34:35: You know what I mean?

00:34:36: Like okay Not for me, but

00:34:41: great.

00:34:42: Like I can so be a person who's like...I am SO happy that you are doing that and then that is awesome for you!

00:34:49: And also not for ME which was exactly what the lady did whenever she left my group Which i just think it as the most honest thing ever.

00:34:58: Yeah.. I hate the canned responses That they're like.

00:34:59: well I signed up for this and than didn't use It As much as thought would.

00:35:04: I'm just like....It's NOT A PRODUCT THAT YOU'RE Consuming.

00:35:09: It's a community, you don't use communities.

00:35:12: So as I say i let that be really valuable information That You're not a fit for the community and then it's totally fine.

00:35:21: because do you think is a transaction

00:35:23: cool?

00:35:24: Yeah beautiful.

00:35:25: And also I don't know whether your resonate with that.

00:35:27: but when people that you Don't resonate With Lee there's actually service to the whole Community including you Because The energy doesn't weigh things down And everybody go where the energy flows for them and then we can be almost like water.

00:35:42: That's an image I get often these days, so i want to flow like water So that whoever resonates?

00:35:47: We float together!

00:35:48: We co-create what it's not about consuming It's about they bring What you've got and Then we bake this cake Together or whatever we're making something together in.

00:35:56: if it's Not a fit yeah

00:35:58: Yeah, let's just Be honest About it.

00:36:03: Wow.

00:36:03: Let's be honest about what is not a fit instead of making it to the problem with someone else, you know?

00:36:09: Yep And I love that her message she didn't really make me a problem.

00:36:13: She did leave because of me but was like...I'm really proud of you.

00:36:17: You're just not for me and i don't feel like thats' making my problems.

00:36:23: That was really special.

00:36:25: Yeah It speaks for your community.

00:36:29: To me its speak for your communities.

00:36:32: Yeah, we designed the community to very much resemble as much as possible.

00:36:40: if you're familiar with The Very Old concept of the commons.

00:36:45: Which was a thing in small villages before

00:36:48: Tell me more I'm not very familiar With that.

00:36:50: so

00:36:52: In villages it like northern European villages A thousand years ago for example and earlier People didn't live in like humongous cities with millions of people.

00:37:02: obviously they lived in very close-knit villages and Before there were like noblemen Kings rulers that we're claiming all the land And then forcing the people to work the land as serfs To be able to live on the land.

00:37:18: The people who are just free to Live On the Land.

00:37:22: And there was a place that was called the commons.

00:37:25: The commons might be a spot in the village, it's kind of like a public park honestly but not manicured like a park?

00:37:36: Not walking paths and landscaping or all of that... But it may have been in Northern European Village on the outside of the village.

00:37:46: A hundred fifty people could easily get everything they need from forest because they're all sharing it, right?

00:37:52: So some people are going to get wood from the forest.

00:37:55: Some people are gonna get herbs from the forests and find mushrooms in the forest but everyone has access.

00:38:02: And It's like the honor system Because nobody is there standing at the door of The Commons being Like okay what Are you Gonna Get Today?

00:38:10: Okay Go In & Get It.

00:38:12: Then Come Out.

00:38:13: Did You Get What You Said?

00:38:14: Nobody Is Doing That.

00:38:15: Its Like.

00:38:16: In Community There'S This Sort Of Automatic, I think in healthy community this automatic sort of built-in system of checks and balances where it's like.

00:38:28: If i have to share This forest with all these other people.

00:38:31: I can't take more than I need or they're not gonna Have what?

00:38:34: They need right.

00:38:37: And if I do Take More Than I Need the whole rest Of The Village is Gonna Come After Me.

00:38:42: You Know What I'm Saying.

00:38:43: so that was the Commons And there's a book by a woman called, her name is Sylvia Federici and she wrote a book called Caliban in the Witch.

00:38:53: It was about how capitalism moved through European countries basically took away the commons from people then made women stay at home with people who allowed men to go out so that they could pay for what they needed, and before all of capitalism in the system existed.

00:39:20: They were just able to get what they fucking need it!

00:39:22: You know what I'm saying?

00:39:23: So we...I tried really hard- I studied pre capitalist, prepatriarchal societies And was like how do i create The online digital village version Of this..and so To enter rooted web you actually have go through a pretty lengthy orientation process because I make it very, very clear that this is not a community where Lindsay Is The Center and you're all here to get something from me.

00:39:56: Yes i'm the leader in that...I host the platform..i created the Community.

00:40:02: Women Do Pay To Be In Our Community.

00:40:04: It's A Very Small Amount Every Month And Really What They'Re Paying For?

00:40:07: Just The Upkeep Of The Platform And The Maintenance And The Text Stuff.

00:40:12: And the orientation process was a process of, here's how we share.

00:40:17: We operate with consent were all on the same page.

00:40:20: We slow things down and then another video was like, Here is why this isn't The Lindsey Show.

00:40:27: Lindsay not even going to be on every call.

00:40:29: Lindsay is not gonna show up everything because This Isn't The Lindsay Show.

00:40:32: I'm just a community member Like you and if You get To Choose When You Show Up So Do i?

00:40:36: Im Not Obligated To Show Up Everything.

00:40:39: We had another video because I knew that other practitioners, coaches and therapists would be in the community.

00:40:44: So we have another video about if you are a practitioner here.

00:40:49: You're human hear first?

00:40:50: You're not a practitioner.

00:40:51: her first your human.

00:40:53: so The way that you engage needs to be as a human not as a practitioner.

00:40:58: But if you have something you want to offer the village let us know.

00:41:04: We have a way for you to offer that.

00:41:06: You can even get clients from it if you want, but It's not like oh just post about your business anytime you want

00:41:11: too.".

00:41:11: You know what I mean?

00:41:11: There is like A Way To Go About Doing It because i don't Want People To Feel Like They're In The Community Being Sold Too All the Time.

00:41:18: there was a video about Conflict and This Is Gonna Be A Community Where we Talk About Conflit And We Facilitate Repair.

00:41:26: If You Need Something or Have A Problem With Something Say Something.

00:41:29: We can't help make this better if you don't tell us what you want.

00:41:33: So it's very much like a co-collaborative creative process that I try very hard to just be a villager and not be someone who is sitting at the center of something, And its'nt actually hard To do that because i also have A group of women in community with me for some four years now.

00:41:59: Some of them are part of Rooted Web also, and they're what I call my lead weavers.

00:42:05: And so there like... They're not leaders in the sense that they have authority or their making rules or decisions or something like that although if there is a decision that needs to be made, they're part of that because i don't make unilateral decisions in the community either.

00:42:19: but they're kind of our village elders.

00:42:21: There's women who've been at work for a long time—I trust their perspective….

00:42:28: If I'm not in the community like twenty-four seven, which i'm NOT somebody's there who has eyes on things and if There's something going on.

00:42:36: I trust them to say Something?

00:42:39: I know there's women In our community Who will like privately message certain lead weavers about Things because they feel really comfortable talking with Them.

00:42:46: so yeah We've Really tried hard To design it to be as close to an old Village Commons As possible And we do Calls.

00:42:56: we have one of our lead Weavers as a human design expert and she does a monthly Human Design call where?

00:43:01: She teaches us about this month.

00:43:02: It was like movement by design, and she's done like eating by design and business By design and stuff like that.

00:43:09: And then we have another Leadweaver who does a Monthly creative journaling calls.

00:43:13: so women just get on and they can write or collage Or paint or draw or whatever Which is some monthly hangout call where we have no agenda whatsoever were just hanging out.

00:43:24: and Then Whenever I have an offering that, i want to give To the web.

00:43:29: it's usually either long form writing.

00:43:31: That lives in a place and on our platform called behalf or?

00:43:35: I will create An offering for them And then Give It to The Web and that might be like teaching A bonus workshop Or hosting A call or Something Like that.

00:43:45: so We also Encourage Women to give when you Have the resources too.

00:43:50: but please don't feel like You have to give When you Don't have Resources because community isn't just about showing up and giving, it's also about receiving.

00:43:58: And so we're really trying to teach a model reciprocity.

00:44:03: that reciprocity doesn't mean tit for tat.

00:44:06: So... We are very much trying to spotlight here is what reciprocal relationship looks like.

00:44:11: Here Is What Transactional Relationship Looks Like.

00:44:14: This Is A Space For Reciprocal Relationship Not Transaction.

00:44:18: It' not a membership where I'm delivering certain amount of content every month.

00:44:23: In fact, right now I'm not delivering any content.

00:44:27: Actually!

00:44:29: So yeah it's not a membership like that and... That has been really interesting practice for me to have this feedback from these women And take their feed back see how we can plug in and continue evolve the digital village.

00:44:50: But in human design, I only have one complete channel and my entire chart just won.

00:44:54: It's the thirty seven forty Channel And it is The Channel of Tribal Community.

00:44:58: So

00:45:02: Yeah!

00:45:06: You know i think...I Think that evolution That the Collective Is Moving In And I Know Human Design Has Language For This Its Like The Twenty-Twenty Seven Shift Or Whatever traditions have, you know astrology has different things that they're saying.

00:45:19: but something in the next year there's going to be some shift and I'm not sure it is gonna be a big shift we'll all feel.

00:45:25: The shift already started y'know?

00:45:27: But its a shift away from like tribalism way of being where everything has been the same.

00:45:37: You have consider group over self And were shifting into time when it was about Yes!

00:45:43: Being In Community and being a herd, but also your own individuality in authenticity.

00:45:49: Being welcome in that herd And you not just having to go with the herd?

00:45:54: But how do I go with The Herd and be myself right?

00:45:59: or How Do i support the herd ?

00:46:02: How do I form the herd exactly?

00:46:04: Exactly!

00:46:05: That's like this shift we're sort of moving In.

00:46:08: so it is really interesting Last year have already started doing that in our community and it really is about We're centering everyone's authenticity, and we're seeing what arises as a result of that You know?

00:46:23: And so far.

00:46:23: We have not had any like major conflicts or hurt big hurt feelings are upset.

00:46:30: So far It's gone really well.

00:46:33: So my fingers across at it contagious.

00:46:37: Yeah wonderful, and I mean you know every disruption or every conflict, as again probably in your context as well is something to show where there's potential for evolution.

00:46:49: For some things not working needs to be shifted transformed into an individual and the collective work.

00:46:57: Yeah I love that it really speaks.

00:47:01: what i would like to see happen on a large scale also.

00:47:05: Well, I see in one way that it's for us women to come together if we're exactly that.

00:47:11: For learning and relearning or excavating into some part as well because i think to a large extent comes quite naturally towards natural weavers of life When we're daring to lead with that, the men can come along.

00:47:30: I want a man as part of that village but also in these last few years and consciously create women-only spaces because... We need to strengthen those parts for us!

00:47:44: And seeing something like you said before when I am in this community where I am encouraged to be fully myself and i'm seen in that.

00:47:55: I'm reflected, that i'm mirrored That it gets strengthened in me And then I don't need To Be you anymore yeah?

00:48:02: I Don't Need to adapt You...I don't Need To be competing with you..i don't Need to make you small because.... I know who I Am!

00:48:10: ...and i dont want to be you.

00:48:12: It's In a way its really simple and Yeah let's go.

00:48:17: Yes oh thats beautiful I love that so much.

00:48:22: Yeah, I don't want to be you.

00:48:27: And also i love you!

00:48:29: Exactly it's this space for both right?

00:48:33: Yeah there is a lot of greatness

00:48:34: and also I dont wanna do you.

00:48:38: I don´t know if you saw me when you said the word weaver and like lit up because You Don´t Know Me.

00:48:43: so You Dont Know This.

00:48:44: but So I Secretly not so secretly Like feel very strongly, I identify very strongly as a weaver witch.

00:48:55: And spider medicine has been deeply present in my business from literally day one.

00:49:03: so...I don't know i just lit up all over whenever you said weaver because that's not a word people use all the time.

00:49:10: You Know what I mean?

00:49:11: So The fact it came out with this conversation feels really synchronistic.

00:49:14: but yeah the spider and weaving is.

00:49:18: I don't weave anything with actual textiles, nothing.

00:49:23: But I do feel like even earlier when i was talking about animal body and soul-body integration that is weaving you know?

00:49:30: And then weaving women together in community and weaving authenticity throughout the collective...I see it so much as we're weaving.

00:49:40: So just you saying that made me really happy.

00:49:45: Yeah, we did this really interesting or amazing powerful exercise yesterday evening with a group of sixty women which worked amazingly.

00:49:55: We hadn't much shared context.

00:49:56: there were participants in that online summit and they...we would just shuffle them together one woman with another woman.

00:50:06: They had never seen each other before and without telling each other anything about who they are, they would just scan and read the other person.

00:50:14: And tell her who she is like...the qualities that they receive from just seeing that woman!

00:50:21: Yeah I'm by me using that word weaving so much.

00:50:24: yes of course you're a

00:50:25: weaver!!

00:50:26: And i feel this real groundedness when you speak of the spider medicine binyo.

00:50:30: my body went like boom boom.

00:50:32: it was like aha Yeah, of course.

00:50:35: It doesn't surprise me even though I don't know much about you but iI don't have to know you intellectually To see or witness and it's the same The other way around like we have this skill?

00:50:45: To know each other without knowing each other Without having to put a label on you And know exactly who are.

00:50:50: You know that just one layer which can be helpful for many things But its not essential For everything.

00:50:57: yeah...yeah..i love That.

00:50:59: thank you for saying that.

00:51:02: um Can we circle back?

00:51:04: I'm curious about your women's summit.

00:51:06: Yes,

00:51:07: yeah how did it go?

00:51:10: Yeah It was the first online summit ever did and i did this with another woman in sisterhood which Was like The adventure Sisterhood title We lived at.

00:51:18: We spent ten days on a boat On Lake Constance In Germany South Germany On her sailboat.

00:51:27: To really be in This cauldron together And navigate Together get it off the ground together and was amazing.

00:51:35: It was really, really intense but it was amazing because yeah we reached like two thousand women or something which is so rad!

00:51:44: We had fifty-six speakers that were interviewed beforehand and they broadcast to make visible what women are already doing.

00:51:52: I think...we don't see that in the news often enough But how much women are on their way?

00:51:58: And then when you all these news of men doing the patriarchal stuff again, and it's really disencouraging.

00:52:04: It can be really

00:52:05: discouraging."

00:52:05: Yeah!

00:52:06: So I want to make visible what women are already doing like yourself who you're walking this path...and you're weaving yeah?

00:52:15: And there is so many others doing that.

00:52:17: making that visible we had also at twenty seven live workshops were crazy totally crazy.

00:52:23: putting all into ten days

00:52:26: That's so big!

00:52:27: Going, yeah.

00:52:28: It was big and it was amazing...it was easy..and also challenging but it nurtured the hunger in me that I didn't know had so much like this.

00:52:39: okay yes i want to reach more women....yes i want hear where they are.....i want make them visible.

00:52:47: Kept coming to this place of this woman that I was doing it with she sourced said She had the impulse.

00:52:52: She had idea and I went on board came in bored pretty early on Through a joint friend, I did not know this woman until year-and-a-half ago.

00:53:02: And then we started meeting regularly and

00:53:04: you just meant anything's on a sailboat together.

00:53:06: yeah

00:53:06: well

00:53:09: and We like but it's like being in this like I could really tell she comes from the same source.

00:53:16: It's not that we have... ...the same vision exactly in all regards, but we're coming form the same place.

00:53:21: like i can see.

00:53:22: We are Coming From The Same Source.

00:53:25: You're Connecting To The Same Root Cause And That Can Have So Many Different Colors and it is necessary to have so many different colors because you don't need to be all the same.

00:53:39: When we move as an organism and that's what your community is doing, from what I hear.

00:53:45: In a way it matters if you're me but at the same time it doesn't matter to my brain.

00:53:51: this is totally paradox!

00:53:55: But when i would put my ego aside with... collapsing without going away and without thinking I'm insignificant now, but i would still be present.

00:54:05: And just hold space that she can fully shine like the spaces are magical is amazing.

00:54:11: it's so beautiful to witness!

00:54:13: It blows my mind yeah?

00:54:15: it blows my rational mind...to see oh wow how it benefits the whole..it benefits me....It doesn't mean I am insignificant.

00:54:24: it just means im doing a part thats requested from me right now.

00:54:27: Yeah, it doesn't mean... I'm still quite ahead with this.

00:54:32: And when you're doing

00:54:33: the part that's requested from YOU and other people are doing their part guess what?

00:54:36: You don't have to over-function!

00:54:38: Exactly!

00:54:40: You don' t have.

00:54:41: do all of this shit your fucking

00:54:42: self!!

00:54:44: Which is a massive shadow

00:54:46: right?!

00:54:46: When i need boost my ego and not do at all like.. All I want is control!

00:54:51: So yeah,

00:54:53: oh my god.

00:54:55: It's

00:54:55: quite... I'm curious because i've done a couple.

00:54:58: okay so my women's community is for women only and whenever I was talking about it on social media an opening in it cuz they just opened August twelfth of last year.

00:55:06: .So when everIwasopeningitonsocialmedia?

00:55:09: ,i don't know if you feel this way but ifeel that as a practitioner or facilitator spaceholder.. I have an ethical obligation to define who my spaces are for.

00:55:21: So if I'm starting a community that's for women only, I have an ethical obligation to say it's for woman-only.

00:55:27: Right?

00:55:28: And I got slammed... slammed!

00:55:33: For being transphobic and i'm just curious is this unique to the United States?

00:55:39: or you when your friend created your Women's Summit did also get a bunch of pushback That was hateful or exclusive

00:55:53: not like, not directly.

00:55:54: I don't know whether that happened in the background and before i got into this summit.

00:55:59: what im doing or co-creating is the radically live women community.

00:56:03: it's also a community And Im so inspired by what you told me because Im at The Verge of Discover actually making some decisions about giving it clear container cause its been really loose.

00:56:14: I'm still creating.

00:56:15: You want to talk more about that?

00:56:17: Yeah,

00:56:17: definitely!

00:56:18: Definitely

00:56:19: had women in our community tell me That they weren't sure about it until they watched my orientation videos and then They were like oh i'm so here for this because but they felt So much safer knowing Here's when I can share here When I don't I know what role I'm in here Like.

00:56:35: they have clear a clear scope you Know.

00:56:37: yeah,

00:56:38: definitely.

00:56:39: so I can totally learn like.

00:56:40: I get a taste of the feminine way of giving structure, making it safer by being clear.

00:56:52: From the start I noticed in me also that defensiveness because men would go... mainly man wouldn't have had to transgender issues so much.

00:57:03: but what about the men?

00:57:04: This is not new and I don't give it much weight anymore.

00:57:08: Yeah, what about them?

00:57:09: If you want means work to exist do it please do it!

00:57:11: I want them in their power.

00:57:15: It's just not my job right now And i'm gonna save the world.

00:57:18: What is in front of me Right Now This Is What I Have A Heart For.

00:57:22: That's What I Want To Do.

00:57:23: So The Necessity Of Us Women Healing Together.

00:57:27: No Question About It.

00:57:29: But Just Before The Summit Was That My Colleague.

00:57:34: She was creating this amazing trailer, I have to send it here.

00:57:37: It's so beautiful!

00:57:39: Doesn't have a lot of German language in it but just really speaks to the core what we were doing.

00:57:44: and imagery.

00:57:45: And she had this idea of inviting young person who identifies as woman But is an male body?

00:57:52: And then realize whoa...I'm not there.

00:57:55: I don't know..it doesn't work for me.

00:57:57: So we've-we had conversation about open conversation About that which was very beautiful to witness.

00:58:02: Okay This where we're at and we decided that they would not join the trailer, and we haven't addressed it in any other way or just having made a topic.

00:58:13: For me this is separate issue which I'm curious about but i am not putting at the center because now im focusing on women.

00:58:21: so Im walking the path finding out how its goes while im walking because obviously the language hasn't been super-inclusive.

00:58:36: I've just been using the feminine pronouns.

00:58:40: also to the few men that joined The Summit, it was clear.

00:58:46: some of the offers were for women but man could join The Summit and listen in or be there.

00:58:53: very few did so clearly addressed at women.

00:58:56: Well yeah

00:58:56: adventure sisterhood!

00:59:00: Yeah, and now in some wet manware there's like yeah.

00:59:03: We think it's really important that this happens And we're here as brothers to supporting the cause.

00:59:09: and just so beautiful also.

00:59:12: That's marvelous!

00:59:14: Maybe its not much of a thing over Germany To slam every person for creating space For trans people or all people.

00:59:25: Yeah, I agree with you.

00:59:55: any of the girls.

00:59:56: I didn't feel like i belonged to a group of girls and my experience with groups of girls was they whispered about each other behind each others backs, and that they spread secrets or they betrayed confidence Or... They made up stuff About you!

01:00:13: And spread it around?

01:00:15: It's just always this sense of competition in this sense if im measuring u up.

01:00:21: So for me to now have a women's community and work with woman, I feel is a reclamation of...I will heal my relationship.

01:00:32: To females!

01:00:35: I am committed being in groups where the competition doesn't even need be there.

01:00:42: Where whispering or whatever gets called out Instead of it being a loud somebody be like hey, how about instead of whispering?

01:00:49: About that you go tell her.

01:00:51: You know That's the group of women I want to be in not this weird Shit.

01:00:56: i grew up and so for me It's Like A personal Healing To Purposefully Put Myself In Groups Of Women Because That Used To Be The Scariest Thing Ever In A Group Of Men.

01:01:09: I Feel So Comfortable but Now I feel comfortable in groups of women, but that's because... ...I put myself into group after group.

01:01:17: After-group!

01:01:17: After-Group Of Women and i am going to expose myself over and over so one can develop a discernment right?

01:01:25: Because when you have those weird experiences growing up it fucks with your discernment A little bit And You kind of don't even know what healthy female friendship Even looks like now, being in groups of women.

01:01:39: And I look forward to being a group of woman and... ...I can also pretty quickly tell if the group is gonna be for me or not Usually within first one-or two times of Being with them.

01:01:51: i can tell.. ..and....i've been meeting here at my local village For over two years.

01:01:57: We have monthly moon circle.

01:02:01: It's very small.

01:02:02: there are only four of us but Yeah, just the way over the last two years how our group has grown and matured together.

01:02:11: And like How things have gotten deeper?

01:02:14: When we first started it was sort of like We're gonna draw tarot cards in light candles under the moon!

01:02:18: Now It's like...we are taking turns basically being on a stage but its not real stage.

01:02:25: Its more all eyes or on The woman who is sharing because were practicing witnessing and being witnessed as the person sharing, but also being The Witnesser.

01:02:36: And so just to see how we've gone to this depth in a couple of years is... Also very magical because I never thought that being like So honest and raw with women was even possible You know?

01:02:52: I think it's easy to center men when you don't know that relationships like this with women are possible.

01:02:57: And then whenever you make relationships, Like This With Women Then You're Like...I Don't Need To Center Men Anymore!

01:03:02: It Doesn'T Even

01:03:03: Matter!!

01:03:04: I Love Men and They'Re Cool and I'm Married to One and i have a son but they aren't the center of my universe.

01:03:16: even my own son or husband.

01:03:19: I love them, obviously but most of the richness that i get in life right now comes from groups of women.

01:03:31: How do you feel about it?

01:03:34: So with you and Im really glad to hear your clarity I don't think i need to add anything that I totally resonate.

01:03:45: and maybe I'll just add one thing, being in a couple of spaces of radically live women emotions which is once-a year we come together and immerse as woman on the weekend.

01:03:59: Being at these events my heart bursting open with this immense gratitude for I get to experience this because i am a woman.

01:04:10: As a child, I wanted it be boy and grow into man... ...I was convinced that would happen before transgender discussions or surgeries were a thing in hormone treatment.

01:04:23: Then fast forward I'm sitting there like whoa.

01:04:27: such an incredible gift!

01:04:28: I can't believe.

01:04:30: but I got to experience with the experience of actually not wanting to be part of women's groups because all these experiences I also had.

01:04:43: And then creating something else instead and it was like, okay we can do it!

01:04:49: Yeah i just see the group some girls that I was with growing up especially but then in my twenties at church or other places.

01:04:58: now I see so clearly the patriarchy present even in groups like slammed on the internet a few years ago because I Posted that.

01:05:09: I think women are the biggest per perpetuators.

01:05:12: not when it all said perpetrators Perpetuiters of The patriarchy, but there is.

01:05:18: Because Like i don't know about you But i have literally never had A man tell me to sit down shut up and cover Up except for my stop father?

01:05:29: throughout my time in the church, whether it was like a female Sunday school teacher.

01:05:33: A pastor's wife... The youth pastor's life?

01:05:37: Like the women were who we're telling me to sit down shut up and cover-up?

01:05:42: And its women now?

01:05:44: Who have a problem with I don't know Me skinny dipping?

01:05:49: i'm like posting a picture of It or pole dancing and posting a video Of it Or whatever.

01:05:54: Its genuinely not the men!

01:05:56: It is the Women.

01:05:58: Is that your experience as well.

01:06:01: What it reminds me of is that my nephew, he's now... He's just about to turn nine and at the age of five.

01:06:06: He loved wearing dresses.

01:06:08: There was even such thing as boydresses

01:06:11: And

01:06:12: he would go into kindergarten with her and The girls were the ones that we're making fun of.

01:06:17: him

01:06:19: Doesn't surprise me.

01:06:20: so has stopped wearing them?

01:06:26: We are so powerful as women.

01:06:27: You know I'm also looking really deeply at this shadow.

01:06:30: It's like okay If I look at the there's so much power in that unconscious behavior to police, right?

01:06:39: And which often like immediately get.

01:06:41: it comes from adapting.

01:06:42: It comes from being so good at adapting That we can then go around and police what we are adapting too.

01:06:48: Yes Like this is such an immense power.

01:06:50: if We use that Power To change culture great let's do it you know In a conscious way and life-affirming Way in A way that it serves This body and brings us back to, hey we're in a human body of female.

01:07:04: That's what I chose this lifetime And i choose also find out my full yes for that.

01:07:11: So here I am In the spotty and my senses...this is question to you.

01:07:19: Would you say being in a female body It could drive change into bigger world?

01:07:27: If we come home to our bodies more?

01:07:30: Oh, absolutely.

01:07:32: Absolutely I mean for women.

01:07:34: i think the collective change if we're going to like okay... Like it's probably so unrealistic but biggest dream ever is like we dismantle capitalism We dismantle patriarchy and live in a more matriarchal society where Women children and vulnerable are centered And everyone needs get met even the men get healed within that sort of a society like big, huge dream right?

01:08:02: Probably will not happen in my lifetime.

01:08:04: Let's be surprised!

01:08:07: But I do think for women when you can heal your relationship with yourself and your body And heal your relationship with other women and their bodies because I think we as women have a really hard time admitting that our relationship With other woman's bodies is not very good.

01:08:30: That's where the competition comes from.

01:08:31: My relationship with your body isn't okay, right?

01:08:34: So it's not.

01:08:35: i just had to heal my relationship with MY body!

01:08:37: I have to kill my relationship WITH YOUR BODY... ...and her body and her body.

01:08:41: you know what I mean.

01:08:42: but Because when you heal those relationships.. ..And You're like Oh my god, we are all portals of life.

01:08:51: Like We're the only sex that can actually bring life in into the world.

01:08:57: I don't know how you could feel weak and powerless after that.

01:09:00: like i don't even if You choose not to bring life Into the world right?

01:09:04: Even If you Don't have a fucking uterus you still Have A portal.

01:09:08: so i think That Discovering that power And that like It's not just babies that could be born, but it's like with the personal work and the collective work That we do.

01:09:19: We have the potential to literally birth a different society And if the men were gonna Do it they would've done it by now.

01:09:28: I don't hate men!

01:09:30: I love Men But...I Don't think most men know how To lead?

01:09:35: I don' t Think Most Men Understand Like How..To Think About The Well-Being Of The Vulnerable First Right.

01:09:44: And yeah, I think that through the portal of life that all us women have we have an opportunity to create something or has been created before but it's gone for a very long time.

01:09:56: Yeah and i must say It may be informed from what was But We need something new.

01:10:03: The next version is now And

01:10:12: I don't think it's gonna happen.

01:10:13: Like, I think the way that we're conditioned to thank because of the patriarchal capitalistic systems that were raised in is We're trained to look at the top and be like oh change is going to come from there Right?

01:10:26: Oh i'm just gonna vote for the right person or the person with the most money.

01:10:29: like It's Gonna trickle down and it's Going To make Change!

01:10:31: I Don't actually Think That's real anymore...I think we've proven that it's not Real.

01:10:35: so..i think regular women like you and me, the woman in my community.

01:10:43: We don't have tons of money or a big platform—I mean I have one hundred twenty-eight thousand followers on Instagram but that's still not a Big Platform!

01:10:51: You know what i mean?

01:10:52: Like we don' t have a lot of money...we don''t have A BIG PLATFORM BUT WE'RE NOT LOOKING UP THERE FOR THE CHANGE.

01:10:58: WE'RE LIVING THE CHANge NOW AND I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA TRICKLE UP TO THE TOP.

01:11:05: when enough of us live the change, it's going to get the attention of everyone and they're gonna be like oh that is such a better way.

01:11:13: Like i'm gonna go do it that way!

01:11:15: And then I hope it leaves the people at the top being like wait where did all you guys go?

01:11:20: What the

01:11:20: fuck?!

01:11:21: You know we're like peace out

01:11:23: motherfucker!!

01:11:25: That's how I think it's gonna happen...I think it'll start locally in local communities little groups Because the way we've done it hasn't worked, so I agree with you.

01:11:34: There must be a better way

01:11:37: and We're doing it like one word one by one together.

01:11:43: My favorite phrase let's just fuck around to find out.

01:11:46: We

01:11:46: already fucked her out and found out that like capital isn't in patriarchy don't work right?

01:11:50: So well, let's fuck around and find out was something else.

01:11:53: Thank i have some ideas You know.

01:11:56: Like lets all get together Have a big brainstorm sesh And then Just make It happen.

01:12:02: It happened.

01:12:02: I love it!

01:12:04: Thank you, Lou and Sir.

01:12:05: This is a great place to stop or make.

01:12:08: let the words ripple into the field.

01:12:11: thank You so much.

01:12:12: Thank you for having me.

01:12:13: this was really fun.

01:12:18: Imagine that you could become so radically alive That you would create not only the life that you love but also The culture that comes through you that your being Is designed to create?

01:12:34: this age cast is about.

01:12:36: This is what the age cast aims to inspire in you.

01:12:39: as you listen right now, and it could be a daunting thing.

01:12:44: And daunting isn't just a problem – daunting simply means that it's new or scary….

01:12:51: why not do so anyway?

01:12:54: Evolution lies there where fear is.

01:12:59: So we're inviting you join us on your journey.

01:13:02: You can do this by, yes keep diving into these free episodes.

01:13:08: The episodes that we're gifting from a place of abundance and necessity And you could also become a member benefiting From some special content That we upload in the membership area.

01:13:21: But really the Membership Portal is for to take more responsibility so We Can Keep Creating This Content In person, live offerings online.

01:13:37: there are many transformative workshops and trainings that are on offer from various radically alive women across the globe.

01:13:47: And you can find all of our offerings on our website RadicallyAliveWomen.com.

01:13:55: This edgecast is brought to you by Radically Alive Women.

01:13:58: See You Soon!